Lawyers Sue Suit Brokers

Boston, MA — The Boston Coalition of Lawyers, a Boston based group of attorneys, is suing a local business chain for defamation of character and unlawful wordage. The company, Suit Brokers, rents suits and tuxedos “for every occasion” for those who need a suit but can not afford (financially or culturally) to own a suit of their own. It is a pretty popular business, catering to mostly men who find themselves needing a tuxedo only a few times in their life, which is basically everyone except celebrities, awards show seat fillers, fancy servants and professional dandies. Peter Maritzo, the owner of Suit Brokers, took over his fathers tailoring shop after his death in 2001 and converted it into a Rent-A-Suit operation. After a rough eighteen months, Martizo became established enough to open six other locations in the Greater Boston area. He, or a family member, personally oversees each Suit Broker. And the successful businessman says he has always felt welcome in each neighborhood and been respected by fellow business owners. In fact, this recent lawsuit has been his first real sign of trouble.
The 450 lawyers that make up the Coalition, decided last August to set their sights on Maritzo’s business, claiming that his name is “misleading” and “confuses” potential customers. “You go in looking to sue a fast food chain for making their fries too hot and suddenly you’re renting a tuxedo and you’ve forgotten about the suit that really matters – your frivolous lawsuit!” screeched an irate attorney who declined to answer any questions regarding his identity.
For his part, Maritzo says he has never encountered a patron of his business who thought he was lawyer. And in this reporter’s humble opinion, the floor to ceiling windows and sharply dressed mannequins should make it pretty clear that Suit Brokers is not a law office. You’d have to be pretty stupid to think otherwise. But apparently, these idiots are exactly the type of people the lawyers say are their most faithful customers. Dumb enough to think their hot coffee is immediately ready to inhale, dumb enough to throw their money into pointless lawsuits.
Maritzo feels the whole thing to be “silly” but it is clear that the Coalition is not joking. Since first receiving notice of the lawsuit, Maritzo’s businesses have been inundated with calls and excessive paperwork. During our hour long interview, no more than eighteen courier services stopped in to drop of subpoenas, notices of deposition, discovery and various other documents. It is apparent that the lawyers mean business and that Maritzo will have to give them what they want is he wants to avoid death by paper. So, what do the lawyers want?
The B.C.L. are demanding that all Suit Brokers close up shop, that the business change its name, or that Maritzo place business cards for Coalition lawyers in the pocket of every suit that is rented out. We telephoned Maritzo yesterday and he said he will “probably go for the business card thing.”